After between ten and fifteen attempts over eight years I
finally hit the cenotaph at the hock of the dogleg on the sixth hole of the
White Golf Course at Penn State University.
(Mars and I were playing there on the last day of our annual golf-week
Road Scholar program at the college.)
From the
white tees hole number six is a 496-yard par five with a steep uphill rise
followed by a ninety degree left turn to a green at the bottom of that slope. My shot came from the bottom of the hill with
a three-wood (which actually now are made of of metal). It may have been my best one of this
trip. At the highest point is a small
stone monument to Willie Park Jr. I
certainly had nothing against Park Jr., but that is what I was aimed at and
that is what I struck.
Wikipedia
says “Willie Park, Jr. (February 1864– 22 May 1925) was one of the top
professional golfers of his era, winning The Open Championship twice. Park was
also a successful golf equipment maker and golf writer. In his later years,
Park built a significant career as one of the world's best golf course
architects, with a world-wide business. He was inducted into the World Golf
Hall of Fame in 2013.”
In 1922 at
Penn State Park Jr. laid out the second set of nine holes on what was at the
time called “The College Golf Course”. I
don’t know if this particular part of the golf course was one of his creations;
or if this is the layout’s highest point; or even what the words on the
tomblike monument said. There were other
players behind us and as good golf citizens our foursome felt an obligation to
keep up with “the pace of play” as links-people like to call it. In fact I might have even misread the whole
thing and the stone may have been dedicated to country singer Willie Nelson or the
1960s hit record “MacArthur Park” – but the architectural connection makes me
pretty sure that I have the right guy.
My golf
ball had settled down amidst the bed of begonias that had been planted to
decorate that spot earlier this spring.
So, within my understanding of the rules of the sport, I quickly moved
it so as not to endanger the flowers and hit my next shot, the outcome or
trajectory of which I honestly do not remember – because I was still so excited
about at long last nailing my target.
Our son, who is not a golfer, wanted to know if hitting the pillar opened a trap
door in front of it into which the ball dropped never to be seen again – like
the clown’s mouth in mini-golf. I did
have other balls that disappeared into aquatic oblivion, or the dreaded gorse –
but not this time. Clearly he did not
understand the significance of the event.
My concern now
however is whether this fortunate stroke will turn out to be a blessing or a
curse. I would seem to me that the
intent of such a memorial in such a location would be for golfers as they
passed by to perhaps rub the smooth granite with their bare hand and thus
imbibe some of Park Jr.’s mojo to aid them in their future endeavors. On the other hand, ever since Cro-Magnon man
aimed his first shot at a sheep innocently nestling his chubby ovine body into
what would one day become primitive sand bunkers on the windswept coast of
Scotland – we should all be aware that a target is a target is a target.
However,
even though success in golf is all about repeatability, if it happens again
next year then the spirit of Willie Park Jr. has every reason to be really
pissed.
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